03.2003
03.31.2003|MONDAY
Don't you hate it when you come up with something good to say 10 minutes too late? I do.
Quotable: That's funny, and it's funny because, if I wasn't laughing, I'd be crying. - Me reacting to the ironic reclamation of my finally-cleaned cube fridge.
Tunage: "Sachie Yashu" by K-rim
03.30.2003|SUNDAY
Spent all day trying to understand Flash. My brother helped me, so, as we say in Massachusetts, he is "wicked awesome." OK... I've got something to confess: I've never actually heard anyone say that, though I like to on occasion. 
People are coming back! People are... coming back! Yay! But you know what that means; the next thing to return (dramatic pause) is a course load. 
Does anyone know how to file a tax return? Does anyone wanna teach me how to use the equipment at the gym? Does anyone know what time it is?
Quotable: Decorated Porn? - Me mishearing Huy.
Tunage: "They Don't Care About Us (Karim's Dance Remix)" by Michael Jackson (remixed by K-rim)
03.29.2003|SATURDAY
Grrr. I sure could use another week off. I didn't get to do anything in San Francisco. It was always just an "if I had extra time" thing, but it would have been nice. Well, I still enjoyed myself this week. One of the things I got to do was see some movies on my massive to-see list. I feel the urge to recommend those I particularly enjoyed: "Orange County" (not as dumb as it looks, and it has a decent story), "Chasing Amy" (an incredible love story), and "Waiting For Guffman" (an impressively improvised production). See them today! 
Quotable: Playing videogames helps you lose weight; it takes away from eating time! - Justin
Tunage: "Lovefool" by The Cardigans
03.28.2003|FRIDAY
People will be returning to campus soon! I'm almost as excited about that as I was about going to Armadillo Willy's for the second consecutive night tonight. I'm kidding! Of course I'm more excited about my friends returning... 'cause when they do, it means... more people to go to Armadillo Willy's!
Quotable: Better still, be a janitor in Kimball like Ray! - Honmun reminding me of a career option.
Tunage: "Heroe" by Enrique Iglesias
03.27.2003|THURSDAY
I got SO much done today! It feels so good! I'm not out of the clear yet, though. There is much more to be done and one less Spring Break day during which to accomplish the many items still waiting on my to-do list. Wish me continued success! 
Quotable: I keep seeing giraffe heads! - Huy
Tunage: "Abracadabra" by Steve Miller Band
03.26.2003|WEDNESDAY
Geeze, selecting classes for my final quarter is proving sooooo hard! About a week ago, it was looking likely that I would not have the units necessary to graduate by the end of this academic year, but now it's looking quite possible that I will. That's only if I complete 20 units this quarter, though.
Don't go asking me how I came to be cutting it so close. (See 03.19.2003 for the approximate response I would supply.) Perhaps, if I had had the affirmations at the top of this page four years earlier, I wouldn't have gotten into this mess. Anyway, what's done is done, and now I'm trying to make it all work out. Creating this final, full study list of courses both managable AND tolerable is very tricky. Wish me success... and a life while I tackle the 20 units.
Quotable: Well, if you want to be Ben-pie, be my guest. - Benson
Tunage: "Under Pressure" by David Bowie & Queen
03.25.2003|TUESDAY
As the week that is Spring Break begins to melt away, I realize two things: 1) I have a lot to do before school starts again, and 2) it's pretty lonely here with all my friends gone. Don't get me wrong - I am glad I remained at school for holiday, but I'll breathe a sigh of relief once I get all these items checked off of my to-do list, and I eagerly await everyone's return from their respective travels.
Oh, a couple people have asked me who the little boy is in the 03.24.2003 photo-entry. That's actually me at 2 years old. My title for the piece is "20 Years." Now that you know those two tidbits of information, if you can figure out how old I am currently (the bigger me in the photo), you'll have earned yourself a cookie.
Quotable:
Steven: Maybe I should read up on the news.
Me: Decent idea. That pneumonia outbreak is scary. Oops, did I ruin it for ya?
Steven: LOL
Tunage: "Jump Start" by The Hang Ups
03.24.2003|MONDAY
Quotable: Maybe it's actually a decent game under all that flesh. - Me on Cho Eniki.
Tunage: "Walking In The Sky" by DJ Encore feat. Engelina
03.23.2003|SUNDAY
There is one thing we have in common, though, that proved a little frustrating tonight: Neither of us seems to be particularly comfortable taking the initiative. Sometimes, in trying to remain respectful, I may move a little too cautiously... a bit slowly... sometimes awkwardly so. It doesn't help that this is relatively new territory for me. Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for your patience and say that I look forward to working with you to reduce the awkwardnicity Quotable: Never dare a Dudek. - Me Tunage: "Escape" by Enrique Iglesias
03.22.2003|SATURDAY
Quotable: Bloody Massachusette person! - Chris insulting? me (in jest).
Tunage: "Come What May (Josh G Abrams Remix)" - the music video version of the song from Moulin Rouge
03.21.2003|FRIDAY
Quotable:
Tunage: "Speed Demon" by Michael Jackson
03.20.2003|THURSDAY
Quotable: Nasty minds think alike. - Huy in response to an idea shared by Mike and myself.
Tunage: "Rock Your Body (Video Version)" by Justin Timberlake
03.19.2003|WEDNESDAY
Quotable: I'm just repeating what you said. - Chris repeating what I said.
Tunage: The 2nd track on Arashi's "Single Collection 1999-2001" album
03.18.2003|TUESDAY
Quotable: "Nuh-uh, it's just a squirrel," said a man seemingly overlooking that his tugging dog might know that already.
Most Rotations: "Die Another Day" by Madonna
03.17.2003|MONDAY
Quote of the Day: Almost not worth it. - Mike after having to practically crawl under Chris and his desk to retrieve a quarter he had dropped.
Song of the Day: "3x5" by John Mayer
03.16.2003|SUNDAY
Quote of the Day: You should shave your head. - Steven becoming the 4th person to independently suggest I do so.
Song of the Day: "Must Be Dreaming" by Frou Frou
03.15.2003|SATURDAY
I can't wait until spring break arrives and the end-of-quarter stress is relieved.
In the evening, I had a great talk with a close friend into the wee hours of the morning. Conversations of such a profound nature really should be time-exempt. The universe just doesn't seem to appreciate how long (and sometimes draining) these things end up being. I guess I'm just complaining to be amusing, as conversations like the one we had last night really are one of the few things actually worth the time spent.
Quote of the Day: I try not to stay calm for very long. - Me
Song of the Day: "Only Got One" by Frou Frou
03.14.2003|FRIDAY
Quote of the Day: Chris, you are getting negative feedback right now. - Chris to Chris in an impatient "Why are we still waiting for you to go to dinner?" response to Chris' explaining that he hopes to never earn negative eBay feeback.
Song of the Day: "Merodii Furaggu" by Bump Of Chicken
03.13.2003|THURSDAY
I am going to miss having someone to scare. I am going to miss your wonderful laugh. I am going to miss your inebriated primate attire. I am going to miss your illuminating smile. I am going to miss your sing-song tendencies. I am going to miss discussing music on the phone with you while we're so close that I can pound your arm -- conversations interrupted only by my inquiring into the cinematic source of your most recent utterance.
I am going to miss...
Quote of the Day:
Song of the Day: "Clocks" by Coldplay
03.12.2003|WEDNESDAY
Quote of the Day: I incriminated you! - Me to Jeff, referring to my having captured his theft of my wireless LAN card on film.
Song of the Day: "Gotta Get Thru This" by Daniel Bedingfield
03.11.2003|TUESDAY
Quote of the Day: When it comes to getting up on stage, it is the getting up that matters most. Nothing after that is quite as important. - Me
Song of the Day: "Once Around The Block" by Badly Drawn Boy
I have become particularly interested in someone I met recently, and as we become better acquainted, I realize that we have a number of things out of common. I'm learning, though, that things like differing music preferences don't really matter -- not that I seriously thought such trivial things actually would. On the other side of the same coin, I find that things we do share become that much more special.
.
Awoke to my alarm at 11AM and realized that I should let myself get as much sleep as I need while I'm on break, so returned to dreamland until 3PM. Thus began my day of "just taking it easy." While taking it easy, I didn't encounter any particularly profound issues to mention here, but my day was far from wasted: 1) I added strawberry soda to Coke and confirmed for myself that the Dudek Strawberry Coke® should be the next flavoured Coke product , and 2) I hope someone enjoyed tonight as much as I did.
How? How can I be SO impressed by the exquisite wisdom in the pages of Keith Johnstone's "Impro," yet not live according to it? It is inexcusable when I hold the concepts in such high regard! From this day forth, I will try my darndest to accept all offers and play with them. This means I will be more conscious. (see also 03.19.2003) This means I will not block. This means I will do the next most obvious thing. This means I will carry the story forward. I will do this because it means I will be living life. "Why live life from dream to dream," Nicole Kidman so beautifully sang in the Moulin Rouge cover of Randy Crawford's "One Day I'll Fly Away." Good question. I want to tip the scale away from dreaming and more toward living.
Honmun: His voice isn't that great.
Me: No, not when he speaks.
I returned from my last final of the quarter tonight and tried my hand at the college tradition of getting drunk to celebrate the end of exams. I was not going to let myself get sick, but I did want to learn what drinks tasted like, and how I'd feel with a couple of them in me. It was fun as an experience, though I didn't feel any lessening of my inhibitions, which was what I thought was the reason many people turn to alcohol. I did reveal my true nature to a few people tonight, but that was because the timing felt right, not because of the alcohol.
"I wasn't paying enough attention," seems to be my catchphrase lately. From simple conversations to grand issues, I have let things slip by undetected or later forgotten. Why haven't I been paying enough attention? What's distracting me? I'm not sure I have the answer to why and how I've lost track of big things, and I have one thing to say about missing the not so big things: It is beginning to bother me. I want to restore my attention level. I want to be more aware. If I need to will increased vigilance, I... will. But seriously, I'm not feeling good about being unconscious as life rushes by. I feel like I am victimizing ideas (and sometimes people) when my mind keeps them from my attention and retention. The truth is that I love people and live for ideas, and I'll be damned if I let either lose their significance.
Always cutting it down to the wire. Always studying the wrong material. Always attracted to people I can't have. Always hiding behind myself. Always too decent. Forever waiting.
Looking around the dining hall at brunch today, I realized that people are very cool. I mean people in the most basic sense: the organism... the human being. They are fascinating and beautiful on their own, and are also amazing when they interact with each other. I always thought that there was somewhat of a sketchy motivation behind most people-watching, but I now believe that one can truly be captivated by human beings.
I spent the day trying to restore order to my room. There were so many scraps of paper with notes and to-do lists that I couldn't think until I had dealt with them. So, I typed everything into my computer and recycled the original "manuscripts." I didn't get much else done, but my newly compiled to-do list gives me a better idea of what I should have worked on today.
Winter quarter is coming to a close, and today was the last day of improv class. Unbeknownst to us, our amazing TA had something a little different in mind for this final session: We were going to play around campus! My initial reaction harkens back to the time when I was terrified to present myself to a crowd, but that feeling subsided in under 2 seconds, and I ultimately loved playing in public this morning. I left class full of vigor, and I was still on the high through lunch, where I sorta let it get the best of me: I decided to cause a scene -- as we had that morning in various locations around campus -- at the dining hall table. My outburst did catch the dining hall's attention, and while that was what I wanted, I immediately regretted the manner in which I achieved this goal. I wish I hadn't done so with a negative attribution, as it was probably more embarrassing for my friends than I predicted it could be. I'm sincerely sorry, guys, if I embarrassed you too much. I got caught up in the moment. Now I know what Michael Jackson was feeling as he held his baby over that hotel balcony. 
I am going to miss saying, "Good morning," to a random 3 close friends and familiar strangers. I am going to miss the shower on the right. I am going to miss arriving at friends' doorways in under 20 paces in my socks just to see their faces. I am going to miss going to LateNight for no other reason than to go. I am going to miss saying, "Good night," when I decide it's finally time.
Jayme: You know, my birthday's coming up.
Me: Oh yeah? When?
Jayme: September.
Me: Ha ha ha!
I realized something after improv class this morning: Since our classes have taken the form of TheaterSports(TM) matches between teams of improvisers, I've been horrible. Before this format change, I had been so good that I was actually receiving compliments from my fellow improvisers. Now, nobody will even talk to me! OK, I jest about everyone silently condemning me, but with my recent drop in quality, I wouldn't blame them if they did! Well, as long as I stay improv-positive, I'm a good improviser, as that is one of the most important characteristics of a good improviser.
I attended the dance department showcase tonight. It was great! 7 different courses were represented via performances by the students of the current quarter, and I observed something inspirational: There are obviously-bad dancers performing in the world. I envy their courage or oblivion, and while I do not necessarily expect that I will come to possess either, I am comforted in and inspired by seeing that people who are far from perfect are out there doing. I can learn a lot from them... though prolly not the dance steps.